This article is written by Brian Day, attendance and well-being champion at UK’s HMRC.

My name is Brian Day. I have been a member of the UK Civil Service now for 12 years and currently work for HMRC as an attendance and wellbeing champion. Prior to that I worked 25 years in Education in a variety of administrative and support roles.

There is nothing remarkable about that you may say. Many people have dedicated their entire life to the duty within public service. However, this dedication comes with an added responsibility on my part.

Outside of work I have been a carer for the best part of my 58 years on this planet. It started with my grandfather who had terminal throat cancer back in 1975. He died a year later, and I spent the next ten years supporting my grandmother who had dementia. Even when she went to live with my father and mother in London, I travelled every weekend to visit her and give my parents a well-earned break from their caring. She ended up in a care home and I visited her regularly until it just got too painful to see her decline.

In 1990 I met the most amazing lady who would become my life long partner. For the last 29 years I have been a carer for this determined and wonderful lady who suffers from a genetic disease called Ushers Syndrome 2a. This horrible disease has left her partially deaf and nearly totally blind. In the last five years this care has increased as her disease has progressed to the point that she can now only see vague shapes and shadows. Her hearing has also deteriorated to a point where conversation is extremely difficult.

A career while caring

I am not alone in being a carer. There are over 35,000 carers currently in the civil service. That figure is probably an underestimation as many people who care for others either don’t recognise themselves as carers or simply don’t want to tell anyone. That number will rise more and more as people start on their own caring journey in the future.

Many carers like myself work a 37-hour week. In addition to our daily work, our early mornings, evenings, weekends, holidays and days off are dedicated to the person we care for.

We take on the role of chef, cleaner, fashion adviser, personal shopper and much, much more as well as being a husband and a father of two. Of course, for the majority of carers this caring responsibility is unpaid, and we save the UK taxpayer £132 billion pounds a year by doing so.

Throughout my civil service career, I have had to learn to be flexible. I have no desire to be treated differently from anyone else just because I am a carer

I am allocated 30 days annual paid leave but use all but 10 days to take my wife to medical appointments or deal with tasks that she cannot manage on her own. Don’t get me wrong I am not complaining. I do so because my love for my wife is total and unquestioning.

When I joined the civil service in 2008, I was (and still very much am) determined to do the very best I can to make a success of my working life as a civil servant and build a career to be proud of. Yes, this philosophy has been tested at times, especially when my wife’s health really started to fail.

For many carers like me having a career is the only thing they have for themselves. They are recognised as a person not just someone’s husband, father or carer. I get undying support from my wife who tells me often that she is proud that I have carved out such a career for myself.

The preconditions for success

With so much responsibility outside of work does that mean I can’t have a career and still be a carer? My answer to that is a resounding NO!

I would like to think that I am a shining example of how combining a career and a caring role is possible. I pride myself on being a very reliable, dedicated, hardworking and productive member of the civil service. I have built a career that I am truly proud of. I know that there is still much I want to achieve and there is still much more to come.

So how have I achieved this? I think for me there are three elements, in addition to that determination to succeed, which have helped assure my success in the civil service. These are commitment, flexibility and support. There also needs to be a real partnership between the carer and everyone they work with.

I truly believe that caring should never be a barrier to a great career. In fact, it should be viewed as a positive factor which makes you unique and determined and special

Commitment is not just a one-way street. Not only do you have to be committed, as a working carer, to fulfilling your career but your managers and your department must work with you to ensure you achieve your goals and reach your full potential. I have been lucky throughout my civil service career that my line managers have shown that commitment and have helped me achieve a lot of my goals and aspirations. They have supported me through good and bad times and helped me realise that I am capable of whatever I want to achieve. My latest manager shows me daily that she wants me to succeed in my goal to be the best I can be by giving me her undying support and pushing me to reach my full potential.

Throughout my civil service career, I have had to learn to be flexible. I have no desire to be treated differently from anyone else just because I am a carer. I have had to adapt my approach to work to ensure that the outcome is right for me, my manager, my team and my department. The departments I work for have also been flexible by agreeing reasonable adjustments that have allowed me to achieve some sort of work life balance that works for all concerned.

Be a good colleague to your caring co-workers

Carers at work need support. Firstly, they need the support and understanding of their colleagues. They need them to understand that carers can often be tired and ratty through lack of sleep. They need to understand that sometimes the pressure gets too much, and the carer can be distracted or act out of character. They need them to understand when they may need to leave work at a moment’s notice or that they might not be able to be as much a part of the social life of the office as they would like, as caring is a 24-hour occupation. They need to appreciate that carers give their all at work despite having huge responsibilities at home.

Carers especially need the support of their managers. A great manager will need to be understanding, willing to work as a partnership and most importantly, be willing to compromise. They need to be there in times of crisis but also be there to drive you on to achieve your goals.

In conclusion I would say If you doubt that you can combine a career in the civil service with your caring responsibilities, then don’t! If all the four elements are in place and you have those vital partnerships with your colleagues, your manager and your department then there is nothing to stop you having a fulfilling, long and rewarding career.

I truly believe that caring should never be a barrier to a great career. In fact, it should be viewed as a positive factor which makes you unique and determined and special. — Brian Day

(Picture credit: Unsplash)

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