This article is written by Simon Skerritt, performance manager in the UK civil service

One of the most common questions I get asked at work is “how are you?”. I always say “I’m fine, are you ok?”. The person will say “I`m ok,” and we move on with our daily business, happy in the knowledge that we both think we are both fine.

The conversation always plays out like this because I don’t want to say, “no I am actually not fine” and burden the other person with my problems. It’s also likely that I don’t feel comfortable speaking with that person about the issues that I am facing. Panic attacks, depression and worrying about things well in advance of them happening are challenges that I cope with on a regular basis.

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But I’m not letting it cloud my life as much as I used to, and that’s in large part thanks to the wellbeing journey I have been on over the last year with One Team Gov.

My wellbeing journey

My wellbeing journey began when we were planning the One Team Gov Wellbeing event in Leeds.

The event was designed to bring public servants of all stripes together to share their experience and tips on wellbeing at work, and as we were planning it we started each early Friday morning planning meeting with an emotional check in where we would ask each other if we “really were ok”. I had never met any of the planning team before, but for the first time I felt that I could actually talk comfortably when I “wasn’t ok”.

When the day came for the One Team Gov Wellbeing Camp to take place, it was the first time that I had really seen wellbeing and mental health come together. The focus of the event was a strong emphasis on having a “Me” day that was fun.

Everyone was asked to put themselves and their wellbeing first, with the hope that everyone would come out of the event with a smile on their faces and feeling re-energised.

The reason for the panic attacks, depression and worrying about things well in advance I come to realise is the fear of failure, feeling not good enough and that I have let people down.

I was so inspired by the speakers who all talked about their own wellbeing experiences., one that really stuck out was Susie B, another public servant, in the Conversation Cafe. I had never thought about the importance of wellbeing in inclusion and that wellbeing affects everyone, so getting a chance to get her perspective was an eye-opener for me. It was also great to hear people at the event talking ever so bravely about their experiences and the impact on their mental health and wellbeing, which also really struck a chord.

During the day I saw a sea of smiles from Civil Servants enjoying the event which made all those early Friday morning planning meetings worthwhile!

The feedback after the event was just as positive too with everyone who attended saying how much they had loved it, felt rejuvenated and re-energised and talking about how much they had learned.

My initial thoughts after the event were “I’m glad it’s all over and that everyone had enjoyed it and got something from it”.

However, what I had not accounted for was how much that day had really meant to me.

One year later

It's been a year since One Team Gov Wellbeing Camp. Reflecting on this now, a year later, there have been times at work when I have been close to tears and the only thing that has got me through the day has been a small book on Wellbeing that was sent to me as a present by the wonderful OTG Wellbeing Team, the best team I have ever worked with.

The reason for the panic attacks, depression and worrying about things well in advance I come to realise is the fear of failure, feeling not good enough and that I have let people down.

The OTG Wellbeing Camp made me realise that, for the first time, I am not alone and that there was somebody there who could help support me through my dark times.

I have since talked about these challenges with people that I know and trust and I am pleased to say that this has helped. I still get panic attacks and worry sometimes but these have become fewer and further between.

So, my top ten tips reflecting on OTG Wellbeing Camp and I humbly admit to being in tears as I write this are:

  • You are definitely not alone, there is always someone who can help
  • Find someone you can talk to. Never bottle it up; you will feel better afterwards
  • You are never a failure. Think about the good things that you do and have done
  • Share your story with your colleagues. I promise you, you will make a difference to someone
  • If you are having a really bad day, smile and remember tomorrow is a new day, a new start and will be better
  • Encourage your colleagues to have emotional wellbeing check ins at work. Please don’t assume that everyone is ok. There may be people who are not ok and could do with some support.
  • Wellbeing is everyone's priority. If you sense someone is struggling, take them for a coffee and a chat to check if they really are ok or need someone to talk to
  • Encourage your leaders and colleagues to talk about wellbeing and mental health. It affects us all and we can all learn from each other. No one is perfect.
  • Remember, be kind, we are all human, we all have feeling and we all make mistakes
  • Always have 5 mins quiet “me time” each day to check whether you are ok. Always look after yourself first.

So that's it, my OTG wellbeing journey is now complete from the start to the end. There have been tears but also lots of joy along the way. Would I do it all again? Without doubt, absolutely yes. — Simon Skerritt

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