This article is written by Paula Benson, program manager for the Government of Manitoba.

Life is difficult for many of us right now.

The uncertainty, fear and anxiety aroused by the Covid-19 pandemic is overwhelming, and can be debilitating. It is no wonder that resilience has become a hot topic in both government and the wider society. In this piece I’d like to offer some reflections on what resilience means to me and ways you can become more resilient if you, like me, find these times to be overwhelming,

What is resilience?

When we talk about “resilience,” we are describing something that helps us move forward through times just like the present.

I used to struggle with anxiety which was associated with my PTSD diagnosis. I never knew how to be resilient but with practice, vulnerability and gratitude, I have found strength and resiliency that I never knew I had.

Psychology Today defines resilience as:

“The psychological quality that allows some people to be knocked down by the adversities of life and come back at least as strong as before. Rather than letting difficulties, traumatic events, or failure overcome them and drain their resolve, highly resilient people find a way to change course, emotionally heal, and continue moving toward their goals”.

So how do you build resilience?

Resilience tools

There are many online resources and activities that can help you build or develop resilience. What works best for one may not work so well for another. Find what works best for you and use activities you can incorporate in all aspects of your life. It is important to identify ways that will work best for you as you develop your own strategy for fostering resilience.

For me, being vulnerable and having gratitude has helped me significantly. Both may not come naturally or may take practice, patience, intention, “trial and error” and routine.

Below I cover some of the strategies that have helped me stay resilient in times of uncertainty, chaos and strife.

Connect with others

It might seem obvious, but connecting with other people is one of the most effective ways to stay afloat when the going gets tough.

Help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you, strengthens resilience. Peer support with others who have lived experience can be a great support system as well. Practice being vulnerable with others. This will definitely feel uncomfortable at first and requires trust, safe spaces and audiences.

We often see life through a lens of negativity and obstacles. Expressing gratitude helps lessen the negative feeling of life’s circumstances

From personal experience, I have found my colleagues to be supportive and have reciprocated their own feelings of vulnerability and fear. When I was vulnerable, I actually was grateful. There was great relief in releasing my emotions and feeling and receiving support.

As humans, we are imperfect, and when we resist that basic part of our lives, it can be a struggle. For instance, we might be tempted to wear a mask to hide our fears and vulnerabilities. Removing that mask creates opportunities to acknowledge and share our vulnerabilities with our self and with one another. When we avoid negative feelings, those feelings may intensify. Identify what causes you anxiety and lean into it. This may feel like you are stepping outside of your comfort zone and you may have to learn how to “take a leap of faith”. Having a safe and trusted support system can help alleviate fears associated with being vulnerable.

Many great resources are available online to help you learn to lean in to anxiety.

Find opportunities to practice gratitude

We often see life through a lens of negativity and obstacles. Expressing gratitude helps lessen the negative feeling of life’s circumstances.

Find ways to incorporate gratitude into daily activities so that it becomes part of your routine.

A colleague just told me that she has heard that thinking of three things to be grateful for during Covid hand washing practices helps foster gratitude on a routine basis.

Some people find journaling, and particular writing down what they are grateful for, to be helpful.

After my house was broken into and my dog was attacked, I journaled every day to remind myself of what I was grateful for, despite the trauma my dog and myself experienced. Some people use visual cues to remind them what they are grateful for.

My office space has sunflowers, plants and photos as reminders of what I am grateful for. At home, I have items that remind me of my childhood and I have gratitude for those memories and experiences and am reminded of that when I see the items in my home; this is why I probably love thrift store shopping so much!

I did not know I would be able to get to a place where I would be able to articulate some gratitude about my PTSD diagnosis. However, I have.

Take purposeful and intentional time away from your desk, your commitments, and your chores. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings; take inventory of what your values are

I sustained the first of many injuries to come early in my career and at a young age. I did not have any idea the magnitude of those injuries and the affect it had on me throughout the years. I did not know that I was struggling and I did not know who I was.

I was enveloped in talons of fear, hypervigilance, distrust and chaos. I did not have any space to take inventory of my life and the injuries I did not even know I had.

Because of the diagnosis, I was able to get professional therapy, support, time, space and opportunity to process the trauma in my life. Being able to process the trauma and release it created space in my head and body to discover who I was without all the weight and baggage of PTSD.

At 52 and after a lot of work, vulnerability, patience and self-care, I am nearing peace in all aspects of my life. So I am grateful, not for the trauma, but for the diagnosis.

Take time to stop and “smell the roses”

Take purposeful and intentional time away from your desk, your commitments, and your chores. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings; take inventory of what your values are. What matters to you? Once you know what “fills your bucket” you can create time, space and activity to do it. Knowing what fulfils you can foster opportunities of gratitude.

Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Self-compassion, patience and kindness should be intentional and become a habit.

Take a walk on your breaks. Keep comfortable shoes and a blanket nearby for an impromptu park picnic.

Take time and space to connect with the Earth and Mother Nature. I like to walk to our Legislature grounds and marvel at the architecture and watch the squirrels run around.

I also enjoy bird watching and love feeding the birds in my backyard. Watching birds in the birdbath and eating the seed I put out for them reminds me of what I am grateful for. The dropped seeds also sprout and I often have several sunflowers that blossom in my yard. Have tea in your favourite teacup. The point in all of this is finding and appreciating moments that bring joy and purpose to you.

In the workplace and at home, celebrate your successes and your group’s/family’s success (no matter how minor it may seem) whenever you can, and to do so as timely as possible.

Even though life may not always feel like a celebration, remind yourself and each another of what you have overcome, how you faced adversity, the lessons learned from not always “getting it right the first time” and the growth that resulted from picking yourself and each other up. — Paula Benson

(Picture credit: Unsplash)