This article is written by Denise Grant, Public Servant and Legal Assistant at the Ministry of the Attorney General.

The views of this author are their own and do not represent the views of Ministry of the Attorney General

Do you ever feel as though you’re passing through one day to the next under a blindfold, not knowing quite where you are going?

Restrictions brought into force by the spread of Covid-19 have left many of us feeling rudderless, smothered by the constraints of the present and maligned with doubts about the future.

This is understandable. Life under lockdown has entered a kind of stasis, shrinking considerably in variety and scope. Before the pandemic, you may have been preparing to embark on a new routine, a new lifestyle, or a new career path. You might have had a vision for your future, and were ready to act on it. Then life got in the way, as it often does, and your vision has since faded or dissolved.

I was at a similar crossroads just a few years ago. A moment of deep self-reflection, followed by a series of assertive actions, changed the course of my life forever. They removed the blindfold, so to speak, revealing to me my true passion. This change was neither supernatural, nor sudden. It was the result of several specific acts of self-empowerment that are accessible to us all.

Where my story begins

A few years ago, my life was filled with unhappy commitments. I was not satisfied with my job, and I felt stuck in my daily routine. I had low-energy and tight resources, and simply could not afford to take anything else on.

At some point, I paused and asked myself: ‘What is the one thing I will regret not having done when I retire?’ I’ve always believed life is too short to have regrets. I wanted to live the best version of my life, not some day in the future, but right from the moment I asked myself that question. Turns out I wanted a law degree.

I was afraid I didn’t have what it takes to become a lawyer. It would’ve been easier to process this feeling had I simply told myself I didn’t have time to become one. I’ve since learned the only way to overcome fear is to confront the truth behind it. My lack of time simply made it convenient to believe that it was what was holding me back. I knew I had to prove myself wrong, so I turned to personal development and joined Toastmasters International.

After two years, having successfully completed three leadership goals, I built up the courage to apply to law school, and was accepted. Here is the step-by-step process I used to get to where I am now. The theme throughout is the prioritisation of emotionally-charged action over pure feeling.

Self-care in action

First, I focused on the big picture of what I wanted, wrote it all down, and took action to improve myself. This started with my commitment to Toastmasters’ public speaking and leadership training. Each development project boosted my confidence. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and discovered I was capable of doing it all.

Whenever you get discouraged or distracted, remind yourself of where your next step on the path to your goal needs to land

These actions helped transform a lot of the negative feelings I had into positive ones. Meanwhile, I reminded myself to be grateful for the things I had already. I had many skills and much education to build on. This helped me recognise that what I didn’t have, I could learn.

These actions are what I like to think of as ‘self-care in action’. That is, concrete decisions reinforced at all moments by a voice that tells you it’s okay for you to lack certain things because of how you make up for them. Self-care is crucial in life, but it is important to match introspection with action, because to be successful means to progress outwardly, and to take stock once we've made headway.

Goals within the goal

Set aside 15 minutes each day to do something, however small, towards learning about your vision. Your vision is the internal compass for your journey towards success. It is important to check and recalibrate it where necessary. If your vision requires you to learn more, take a course, and research what steps are required to move your plan forward.

Remember also that positive action breeds further positive action. When I started learning law, I set aside time to study. Then I became motivated to increase my study time. As I discovered, consistent positive action triggers motivation from within.

Whenever you get discouraged or distracted, remind yourself of where your next step on the path to your goal needs to land. My biggest distractions tend to be spending time with friends and family and watching movies. While I enjoyed doing these things, I felt as if some of that time could be better spent working on my goal. Whenever these distractions knocked me off course, I prioritised reminding myself what I was aiming at — I thought about what could be reduced, and what I needed to cut out altogether.

Helping others

Part of achieving a goal, however, is getting involved in something bigger than yourself. Whatever we choose to do in life will involve others. Look for something that you enjoy doing that will benefit them, whether you know them personally or not. After we have started working on ourselves, turning to others will expand our growth.

This is important because it provides opportunities to apply what you have learned from self-care in action. I did this when I volunteered to coach youths to develop their leadership and public speaking skills through Toastmasters.

Ask yourself: What is the one thing you will regret not having done when you retire

Life has a way of setting our agenda against our will. Job losses, relationship breakdowns, personal tragedies — all are beyond our ability to control. Having a vision frees you from the contingencies of life, in that it compels you to act in pursuit of something constant, something which transcends the arbitrariness of life and helps you navigate adversity.

An unexpected bonus of my journey has been the invitations I’ve received to motivate, empower and uplift other people, particularly other women. Pursing your vision will always produce the opportunities you least expect.

Stuck in our homes and stuck in our heads, I get why feelings have overtaken the impetus to act of late. Yet, however life has left you feeling, make sure you are planning a way to act on it positively at the same time. Your vision awaits you on the other side of the blindfold. Ask yourself: What is the one thing you will regret not having done when you retire. – Denise Grant

We want to hear what you think about this article. Pitch an article to us or send your comments to hello@apolitical.co

(Picture credit: Unsplash)