This post is written by Justin Bigelow, Management & Program Analyst, US Federal Government.

  • The problem: Leaders respond to staff’s critical feedback with disbelief, denial and/or frustration.
  • Why it matters: A dismissive leader will drive away good staff or sour their drive, and lead to an unengaged and disaffected workforce.
  • The solution: Leaders need to engage with their staff and respond to critical feedback with curiosity.

I am a mid-level public servant and a professional development coach. As a management analyst for my office’s chief of staff, I am often the most junior person in the room. I work directly with political appointees and senior career civil servants daily.

I say this to explain, I see a lot of leaders and hear how they describe their work and their teams. And I also hear how their staff describe their work and their leadership. For certain leaders and their teams, these two descriptions often do not align. So what is happening?

I understand criticism can be hard to take, particularly the constructive kind.

First, let me be radically honest: I am not one of the blessed chosen few that can take criticism unflinchingly, pivot to adapting this newly acquired information into action seamlessly, and carry on. At least not right away, nor so smoothly. This is to say I understand criticism can be hard to take, particularly the constructive kind. When it spotlights an area that is popularly sensitive like say, diversity in hiring, or personally sensitive (lots of leaders are really proud of their open-door policies) it’s even more so.

Choosing to disagree well (and not)

In my experience and observation, when we receive information that contradicts our perception, most of us generally follow one of two paths: 1) a mixture of disbelief, denial and anger/righteous indignation; or 2) curiosity. I will again admit, my knee-jerk response is often more akin to path 1. It takes effort to shift my perspective to the other. For leaders, making and maintaining that shift towards an attitude of curiosity around criticism is vital.

What I have seen is this: one leader, when faced with clear evidence of his staff’s critique of his office and leadership culture, can’t even comprehend how anyone on his staff would feel that way and insists that all of his conversations and interactions prove this evidence to be false. Then the backfire effect kicks in and the leader posits that this evidence is an outlier, just one or two disgruntled staff that responded to a survey on a bad day, and insists it should be disregarded. Path 1.

Employees that feel invalidated will leave, or worse they’ll stay and give up.

Remember I mentioned the often touted ‘open-door’ policy? I’ve heard many first-path leaders quip, “My door is open, but no one comes in. Everything’s great!” Meanwhile, they are oblivious to the culture they’ve created that stifles employee engagement. Employees that already feel unheard and dismissed by a leader aren’t going to trust them to listen just because “the door is open”.

How to do it

Another leader is faced with a similar situation, discovering a pocket of discontent within his organisation. His response? Set up time with each member of that team individually. He has a frank conversation with each member so he can hear what is going on in their lives and experience. The conversation is open, the leader is there to listen without judgment. If something warrants a response in the moment, he commits to responding without being dismissive or defensive. He comes to each meeting curious about the causes. And the staff, aware of this leader’s disposition and character, are open and willing to participate as a result. Path 2.

I’ll wrap up with an answer to the top question: what is happening? One team believes their leadership is interested in what they have to say. The other team believes their experience and concerns ultimately don’t matter. When employees express themselves and the response, even indirectly, is “I don’t believe you,” they feel invalidated. And employees that feel invalidated will leave, or worse they’ll stay and give up. It is imperative that leaders listen to and believe their employees, believe the employees’ experiences are valid and respond to criticism with curiosity. It is not an easier, softer way, but it is a way to ensure your staff will feel heard and believe that they are valued.

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