My boss's leadership style is highlighting everything that he finds wrong and not recognising or highlighting the positive side of my work. Whenever I do something good or I put a lot of effort into something, it's not recognised. It's all stick and no carrots and I'm starting to get really demotivated and bored by work despite loving what I do.

The Apolitical Community Responds:

  • Been there - awards on my desk, accolades from peers and internal clients, but the criticism never stopped because my manager resented my success. So try and understand why they are criticizing you. Sure, discuss it with them, but the chance of the manager changing their approach is remote. Look for a new position - ideally a promotion. - Anonymous

  • It is important that you let your manager know how you feel. Know that this could happen again. Look at this as an opportunity to learn something new and how you can make things better for yourself. Take a deep breath and share how this is impacting you. Your manager may not be self-aware.

I had a similar experience and talking about it with my manager made all the difference. To this date, I have a great relationship with her. She is my mentor and has been supporting me in my career. The experience was constructive and helpful for both of us. —Anonymous

  • I think it's really important that you let your manager know how you feel they may not be aware that they're not providing balanced feedback. — Anonymous

  • Next time you speak to your boss about a piece of work, ask them what bits you did well. Try and steer the conversation around to what went well and then how it can be improved. Try and show that you have a positive attitude to improve. Hopefully, they'll come around. — Anonymous

  • You seem to be frustrated about the "all sticks and no carrots" management style. Being criticised all the time impacts trust and creates stress. My advice would be to speak it out in your conversation with your manager, using the "I feel" model and focusing on your particular situation. People don't always realise how words can be interpreted, and being open about your feelings can shift the relationships from distrust to trust. — Anonymous

  • Reframing feedback as a gift, rather than criticism, can help make it easier to accept. Remember that if the boss didn’t care about helping you get better, they wouldn’t take the time to point these things out. That said, recognition is also very important. If you are becoming demotivated, it is time to have an honest and open conversation. Explain that you are the type of person who thrives on positive feedback, and this would help keep you motivated. Ask what are specific strengths that they see in you. Also remember that the boss may not know about the effort you are putting in: it’s your job to let them know what you have done and how you have gone above and beyond. — Carine Lavoie, Manager Internal and Corporate Communications

  • It's time to look for a new team. Working to improve the culture on a dysfunctional team could be an excellent (and challenging) career-building experience, but if you don't have support from your manager, you won't get anywhere. Save yourself the heartburn and move on. — Inge Vander Horst, Senior Policy Analyst

  • I would be frank and ask for a meeting with your line manager (possibly with an impartial colleague present, if you feel you need someone objective) to review your ways of working and communication styles, and set out a charter for working together.

    If you're feeling demotivated, it's in your manager's interest to change that, as you won't be performing to your best. Likewise, if your manager feels there's a performance issue, their current approach isn't yielding results. Getting on the same page is the best solution here!

    For best impact, frame the discussion around ways you can both communicate better, and use "I" statements to avoid seeming accusatory. Try to write down actions/outcomes you can review in six weeks' time, and schedule a follow-up meeting to avoid this being a one-off discussion of the issue. — Anonymous

  • I'd suggest that you talk to your boss and let them know how their leadership style is impacting you. This provides your boss with the opportunity to learn how to better manage you and could give them the tools they need to better manage others in the future. — Anonymous

Want to submit more advice on this problem? Click here.

Have a problem of your own at work, and want the Apolitical community’s help? Submit your issue here.

👋 You can create a post like this one! Share your thoughts with a community of public servants. Learn more.

(Picture credit: Unsplash)