We're braver, stronger and more resourceful than we think

This post is written by Shabana Ansari, Senior Policy Analyst, Employment and Social Development Canada (ESDC)

The problem: We often underestimate our own courage, strength, and resourcefulness. When faced with challenges we often assume we won’t be able to cope.

Why it matters: This can magnify fear, lead to worst case thinking, and make difficult situations feel overwhelming and keep us from recognizing the resilience we’ve already shown in past hardships.

The solution: We can remind ourselves that we’ve handled challenges before and have the skills, support, and inner strength to face new ones.

(Note: As a non-disabled, neurotypical person, I acknowledge that the approach outlined in the article may not resonate with everyone, especially those who may be disabled, neurodivergent, have intersecting identities, or are living with issues I know nothing about.)

I once worked at a not-for-profit helping newcomers prepare for the local job market. During the process, most clients displayed extraordinary openness in trying things they hadn't considered before. For some, it was attending networking events, for others it was posting on LinkedIn, volunteering their time and skills, or even talking about their achievements in job interviews.

Despite racing heartbeats, extreme awkwardness or wishing that the “earth would open up and swallow me whole”, they did what was required. Afterwards they marvelled at how they had “survived” the experience because they seriously did not think they had it in them to go through with it.

What I learned from this is that we are far more capable of dealing with challenges – and even thriving through them – than we give ourselves credit for.

As Winnie the Pooh says, “There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” 😊

We’re braver than we believe

Think about all the big and “small” things you have already done in your life that took serious courage. For some, it was living through conflict, moving to a different country, being the first in their family to go to university, managing physical or mental health conditions. For others, it was leaving a toxic environment or relationship, switching careers, or traveling alone for the first time.

We all have our own unique stories of grit and determination, and it is important to remember how brave we have been in the past while confronting a situation that feels challenging right now.

We’re stronger than we seem

Fear can make us imagine the worst – most of us can’t afford to lose our job, for example, since that is the only way we can support our families, elderly parents or even our community. Some are concerned about the impact unemployment would have on their lives while others worry that their relationship with their children will suffer due to the long hours they spend at work.

Of course, there is always a possibility that bad things will happen, and we won’t have any control over them. But reality is more complex.

We may have periods of uncertainty during a downturn, but we have people around us to rely on for information or even motivation. We may be anxious about our parenting skills, but didn’t some wise person once say that a little stress can in fact make us better parents? And if we do lose our job, it is far more likely that we will find another opportunity eventually or at least navigate a less terrifying time than what we had originally imagined.

We’re smarter (and more resourceful) than we think

All through our personal and professional life, we adapt and adjust to change and build relationships that sustain us at home and at work. However, tough situations still have the power to make us feel vulnerable – which is completely understandable.

But it is also important to keep in mind that we are not alone, no matter how bleak everything seems right now. If we look closely, we have many resources – friends, family, colleagues, mentors, and even our own technical and interpersonal skills – to rely on when we’re figuring out next steps.

Final thoughts

Each of us is struggling with our own unique hardships that other people may not be aware of or can relate to. But with the right resources and support it is possible to make existing challenges a little more bearable and somewhat easier to navigate.

If you’re comfortable sharing, I’d love to hear about something you have overcome that reminds you of your own strength and resilience, and how remembering that helps you during difficult times.