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This post is written by Pavitra Raja, Programme and Engagement Lead at the World Economic Forum

  • The problem: We rarely make the most of our networks.
  • Why it matters: Large parts of getting things done require personal connections.
  • The solution: Six tips can help you harness the power of your networks.

Public services around the world are vast, complex and multi-layered. It can be difficult to know who to go to in government, whether you’re working on a project or looking to take the next step in your career. This is where networks can make a difference.

Every day I have the privilege of interacting with change leaders in the public and private sectors, academia and the arts. I am indebted to my networks for most of my personal and professional successes. Networks are powerful because proximity is power. The simple act of whom you spend your time with is who you become. In other words, surround yourself with people who have already achieved your goals and people who you admire.

But networking isn’t the way to harness this power, it's building relationships. There is power in relationships that extends beyond a generic introduction. When you create connections based on shared interests and goals, you’ll be more successful at your job, because people want to work with people they know and like.

Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” An executive may meet dozens of people during the day, but if you can make yourself memorable by finding a way to connect on a personal level, you won’t be forgotten.

While relationship building takes time and energy, it has enormous potential to open our lives to new and wonderful experiences.

How do you make yourself memorable and build relationships? Here are six key strategies:

1) Be present: If you meet someone at a cocktail party whose eyes are constantly flitting around the room, do they make a good impression? Probably not. One research study showed that the mere presence of a cell phone impaired the sense of connection in a face-to-face conversation. When you meet someone at a networking event, remain completely attentive to them. Being present in the moment is key to earning trust and respect, which is a precursor to building relationships.

2) Take an active interest: There are three key things you can do to take an active interest: practice active listening, move the conversation to a deeper level, and ask good questions.

  • Most people are thinking about what they want to say next while someone else is speaking. In order to practice active listening, resist the urge to think about your response and focus your attention on what’s being said instead.
  • Moving the conversation to a deeper level requires you to engage in the conversation with your body language — maintain eye contact, pay attention to the other person’s expressions, and nod/or use gestures to further engage.
  • “Quality questions create a quality life”, says Tony Robbins. Instead of asking “yes or no” questions, ask for stories through open-ended questions such as “What was the most adventurous thing that you did on your trip to Switzerland?”

3) To build a relationship, you need to add value to the other person: When it comes to building relationships, you get what you give. It is crucial to seek out opportunities through which you can help someone with a need they have. And don’t expect anything in return. Most people are wired with a reciprocity mentality; you’ll grow a positive reputation as someone who pays it forward, and people will want to help you in return.

4) Think about your relationships as friendships: Your networks are available to you from 9 to 5, but as cheesy as it sounds, your friendships are forever. If you care for someone and build a meaningful relationship with them, you’re more forgiving and will go the extra mile for them, and vice versa. Cultivating a friendship takes time, so you may not be able to create too many friendships but that’s what makes it so much more meaningful. Even though you may have fewer LinkedIn connections, you know that your network is there for you in your time of need.

5) Use the mirroring technique: People like people who are like themselves. This is where the mirroring technique can be effective. Mirroring occurs when one person imitates the verbal or nonverbal behaviours of another. You can utilise this skill to build rapport by mimicking a wide range of behaviours, including eye contact, posture, gesture, language and tone. For it to be subtle, mirroring needs to be based on more than just the other person's cues. You need to be empathetic and aware of the emotional state of the person you're interacting with.

6) Always follow up and be specific in your note: To win friends and influence people, we need to earn the trust and respect of others. Take your new contact's email or LinkedIn off that little rectangular piece of paper they gave you and craft them an email. Simply say that you enjoyed meeting them and try to reflect on a specific point from the conversation — how much you laughed at their anecdote, wishing them luck on their big presentation or thanking them for the helpful work tip.

While our world and the way we connect may be changing rapidly, our need to connect remains. Authentic relationships enrich both our personal and professional lives. While relationship building takes time and energy, it has enormous potential to open our lives to new and wonderful experiences. These six lessons are there to give you some pointers in your quest to enrich your lives, but the most important thing to bear in mind is that relationship building is all about giving and not getting.

Do you have some tips that you would add here? Let me know in the comments.

(Picture credit: Unsplash)