How to be a "Good" Perfectionist

This post is written by Shabana Ansari, A/Manager, Employment and Social Development Canada (ESDC)

The problem: Many people feel they must be perfect at everything and often treat being “good enough” as a failure.

Why it matters: There is a fine line between a healthy drive for excellence and the crushing anxiety of perfectionism.

The solution: By breaking the cycle of overthinking, we can use our high standards to help us succeed instead of burning out.

(Note: As a non-disabled, neurotypical person, I acknowledge that the approach outlined in the article may not resonate with everyone, especially those who may be disabled, neurodivergent, have intersecting identities, or are living with issues I know nothing about.)

Perfectionism can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how much we let it impact our life. It can motivate us to do our best work and succeed at everything we do. But it can also cause unnecessary anxiety and slow us down.

Here are some strategies to help focus on the good aspects while rejecting the bad:

1.  Prioritize what's really important

Being a perfectionist takes a lot of effort and that is exactly why we must keep an eye on whether we're using our time and energy wisely or not.

When I find myself mulling over or tweaking work that I finished hours ago, I remind myself that if I am "less than perfect" at some stuff it only means that I'm prioritizing something more important or meaningful.

I know it is easier said than done, but the next time you catch yourself spending more time than necessary on a task, remember that sometimes doing a "good enough" job is a perfectly decent goal.

2. Be realistic and practical 

A friend describes perfectionism as a never-ending journey. "It's like I keep walking for hours but don't get anywhere close to my destination."

To stop herself from going into a spiral, she creates "to do" and "done" lists for each important project. 

"When I'm preparing a presentation for example, I obsess over every little detail, but my "to do" list reminds me to focus only on what's really important and cut out the unnecessary work. The "done" list then reinforces that I've met all my goals."

3. Don't overthink

Most perfectionists I know are overthinkers who are constantly analyzing work even after it's completed and out of their hands.

A former colleague says they have learned to stop dwelling on what is no longer in their control. 

"I'm intentional about giving myself time and distance when I notice that I'm overly involved in something that is already done and dusted."

4. Find something else to do

Sometimes just spending a small chunk of time on a mundane but practical task breaks the cycle of overthinking.

When I realize I'm going down the rabbit hole of perfectionism, I distract myself with another task that is either simpler or less stress inducing.  

If all else fails and I can't shake the urge to keep pushing myself, I get up and take a short walk away from my laptop and phone.

5. Reflect on past successes

Remember the time you tried something new or difficult? Chances are it turned out well in the end despite all the initial anxiety.

By reflecting on previous accomplishments, we remind ourselves that we're capable of getting decent results despite feeling unprepared or uncertain of success.

Lastly, but most importantly, keep an eye on what's going on with you and how you're doing. 

Someone I know does a regular "personal perfectionism review" and asks questions like: Where was being perfect useful for me or my work? Where was it not worth it? 

"This is who I am. I can't change my personality or the way I work. But what I can do is redirect my time and energy into making sure that I wield perfectionism as a tool for success and not as a weapon that destroys me."