As an ambitious introvert I wanted to learn more about my personality so I read Quiet Leader by Sissel Heiberg

When I picked up Quiet Leader the first thing I did was Google ‘Am I an introvert or an extrovert?’ I found an online quiz that asked if I like public speaking, dancing with my friends, hiding at dinner parties, sharing personal problems and texting. Call me a cynic but I doubted this quiz would give a robust diagnosis of my personality type and how it affects my career.

I love books because authors put their heart and soul into writing it. You, your keyboard and the blank page. Can you write a book that people want to read? The author Sissel Heiberg says she pictured herself sitting in her East London loft tapping away all alone, only to discover how much of the content was shaped by her social and professional interactions.

Writing your book, report or emails alone in a loft garden apartment in New York, London, Madrid might sound romantic, but how are you going to pay for the apartment? This book aims to revise the definition of the modern high performer to allow introverts to earn a salary that matches their capabilities and performance and live wherever they choose.

I related to Sissel’s reflections of office cultures where amplified behaviours and presence can boost your status and chances of career progression. ‘This isn’t a book claiming that all introverts are better leaders; like so much it comes down to the individual and their combination of skills, attributes and experiences.’

Sissel refers to the limited research on introversion to define it as being focused on your internal world, as opposed to extroversion which is being more externally focused. The categorisation of social, thinking, anxious and restrained introversion makes it easier to understand and identify the traits that introverts display. It’s not about shunning human connection; it’s the method, volume and how you interact that distinguishes an introvert from an extrovert.

Earlier in my public sector career I was told to be more confident and speak more before being told to listen and stop interrupting people. When an aggressive colleague got in my face to tell me: ‘Anytime, anywhere, any place’. I did not hide behind the photocopier or beg for an extrovert to save me. I was calm, living the civil service adage of being the right person at the right time in the right place to defuse the tension.

I am now a leader moving towards senior leadership, rated strong in the nine-box talent grid. One of the civil service line management standards is to focus on your personal effectiveness and impact to ensure you deliver on your goals.

I prefer to be the wise owl who spends more time doing, less time talking and can evaluate the impact of my actions. If I can celebrate my success, I will do, but only if it makes work better for others.

The iceberg illustration is used to show that silence, delayed response and shyness might be hiding the inner workings of introverts’ minds. They are not mute or intimidated. Maybe they are listening to inspirational extroverts or praying for the boring meeting to end. Alternatively, introverts are spotting potential problems, considering pros and cons and absorbing information before talking or planning next steps.

Sissel warns about the risks of using polarised language to describe introverts and extroverts. ‘The words we use don’t just affect how others see an individual, it also affects how they see themselves.’ Telling a shy person they are shy is unhelpful, as is telling a gregarious person they are too enthusiastic about work. Would introvert or extrovert managers be better at getting past people’s defences to give constructive feedback?

Quiet Leader is not anti-extroverts, rather a think piece on how humility, listening, observation, emotional control and joining the dots before acting are crucial skills for leadership roles. From my perspective, introverts can succeed in the civil service if they have status, autonomy, psychological safety and the ability to do their jobs.

As civil service line managers should pay attention to their thoughts, feelings and behaviours and the impact they have on others, I recommend the Johari Window self-awareness exercise. This can complement feedback on your management style, strengths and areas for improvement.

Sissel says the perceptions from others often come with their own set of biases and assumptions. We therefore shouldn’t take as gospel feedback from just anyone, rather a selection of people who will give it to us straight. I have become less inclined to ask for feedback as I am what I am and not always in the mood to hear what I need to do to improve.

I don’t care if I am an introvert or an incredibly relaxed extrovert. I am not perfect and nor are you. I am not perfect and can improve. Let’s get better together.

‘Humility without inner confidence is just constant doubt, which would make you ineffective as a leader, and self-aggrandising confidence without humility is a short step away from hubris, which isn’t leadership at all. Both come from a place of insecurity.’

Being a quiet leader does not mean you are insecure. You don’t have to be loud to be a success. Just be the best version of you.