Arguing with the voice in your head

**This post is written by Andrew Eggleton, Senior Policy Officer at the Department of Regional Development, Manufacturing and Water **

• The problem: Our fear of public speaking can cause our brains to tell us things - often untrue - while we’re trying to speak in front of a crowd.
• **Why it matters: **These things can affect our confidence, our performance, and deepen our fear of public speaking.
• **The solution: **Breathe deeply, rationalise the irrational thoughts and be kind to yourself for making the effort.

“I’m taking too long of a pause.”

“I’ve lost my place!”

“They all think I’m terrible…”

We’ve all had these thoughts when speaking in front of a crowd. Little self-criticisms that creep in when we think we’re not doing a good job. With each one, our breath getting shallower and our heartbeat getting faster. Each time we speak, we feel like we’re doing a worse job.

The trouble is, most of the things our brains tell us are untrue. It’s simply our fear of public speaking getting the best of us. Below is a list of some of the most common thoughts people have and some of the things you can tell yourself to argue with the voice in your head and fight your fear head on!

People can stand to wait seven seconds before a silence gets awkward. If you feel you’re taking too long, say “sorry” and buy yourself another seven.

My brain: “I can’t breathe!”

It’s very common, as you’re speaking, to feel like you can’t catch a breath between sentences. You instinctively speak quicker to get to the next breath, but then you breathe in quickly and have even less air to get through the next sentence.

What to say: “Take a long, deep breath.”

It sounds cliché, but this is the most effective way to calm yourself. This small act resets your breathing, calms your thoughts, and shows you that it’s okay to take a second for yourself. Nothing bad will happen and no one will notice the pause.

My brain: “I’ve lost my place, I’m wasting everyone’s time!”

We’re all told to look at the audience when speaking publicly. The trouble is, we look up, look back down, and all of a sudden our eyes aren’t where they once were! Trying to find the next sentence is like trying to find a noodle in a pile of alphabetti spaghetti…

What to say: “Ignore the storm, find a buoy, rechart your course.”

Trying to find one sentence in 100 is difficult. But if you’re halfway through your speech, you’ve already said 50 of them. Find any sentence you remember saying and then scan forward. Even if the last sentence you remember is the first one on the page! All the while, ignore the crowd. People can stand to wait seven seconds before a silence gets awkward. If you feel you’re taking too long, say “sorry” and buy yourself another seven. Once you find your next sentence and continue your speech, no one will remember the break.

My brain: “Everyone’s thinking how unprofessional I am.”

We often hold a very high standard for ourselves while being generous to others. When someone else is speaking, we don’t care about the pauses, but when we talk, we feel like the audience is judging every moment, waiting for us to slip up.

**What to say: “Everyone is cheering me on.” **

Public speaking is one of the most common fears. If someone doesn’t fear it, they most likely hate it. As a result, there’s an unspoken bond amongst most people when it comes to public speaking. No one likes it, we all have to do it, so when someone struggles and ultimately succeeds, everyone wants to jump up and cheer! But we can’t because we’re “professionals”…

My brain: “I’m so bad at public speaking...”

Everyone who fears public speaking thinks they’re bad at it. Even those who are praised for being good at it can feel immense anxiety at the thought of having to speak publicly. And if we hit a spiral, where every event feels worse than the last, this can be a thought that follows us for years.

Public speaking is hard, but I’m working to get better.

First, if you feel you have real anxiety around public speaking, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Therapists, colleagues, even your boss may know a workshop you can take (such as an Apolitical bootcamp!) and – in the meantime – keep your public speaking duties to a minimum. Everyone who matters wants to see you succeed so if being a better public speaker is important to you, it’s important to them!

Courage is when we do something in spite of our fear, no matter how serious or life-threatening it might actually be. Any attempt to be better at public speaking is worthy of praise and if you can focus on the things that went right rather than the things that went wrong, you’ll start to feel you’re not so bad at it after all.

Happy speaking!

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(Image Credit: Unsplash)