You asked: "I have just started in a new role as a public servant. It's a different department, though the skills I need to do the job are similar to those I've used before. Nonetheless, I'm struggling with two things. One is imposter syndrome. Because I don't know my stuff, I'm constantly feeling like I don't deserve to be here and that I'm not the right fit. The second stems from the first - how do I bond with my team as a new person? We're all virtual and introverts, so I really feel like I'm struggling to get to know who I should go to with which questions, and when."

__The Apolitical community responds: __

"Definitely dont forget that everyone goes through this! Any time you get a new position or for students even a new school or class, all individuals have that initial 'Do I fit?' 'Am I part of this group?' , 'Can I contribute effectively?' thoughts. Some cover it with overconfidence and some with being quiet and observing, depending on personality type. Both have pitfalls, overconfidence can be annoying in the new person and silence can leave the team to make up your story for you. A previous commenter identified the key - QUESTIONS! One tip though, dont ask tentatively, be confident in your questions and build a few taglines that point out your newness, not a lack of knowledge. For example, ' Not sure if this context fits, but I am wondering...';My thoughts are X, but I'm hoping you can all confirm...';Im concerned that I am missing something without the corporate history, can you fill this in a little for me?...';'How does this align with the Teams/Unit's/Departments approach/vision/mandate? Making sure I see how it fits.' This shows you have knowledge and are trying to match it to your new context rather than faking being a superstar right away. Demonstrates a desire to learn and understand their context to, to join, not make them join you. For the virtual team of introverts, questions help for sure and again I suggest asking for confirmation or help understanding because it seeks input and expertise without pressure on them to perform, but sharing info is great too. I encourage all on my team to share interesting articles, fun or work-related quizzes and inspirational moments with each other. Thought I would share this article that gave me an ah-ha moment... what do you think?'. even better if you put this in a chat forum instead of email. I categorize this in the context of working to develop others as a leadership skill. I often get immediate response from new and introverted team members when I share because they are so delighted to have someone reach out to them with casual info or questions and to not have to speak up in a group. The more you share insights, the more they come back to you and start to respond to you in meetings. People never forget how you make them feel and sharing is a trust behaviour that builds relationships. Two topics that always go over well are effective time management and communication tips. We all need them no matter what work we do!" **- Anonymous, HR Manager **

"At some point, every person grapples with imposter syndrome. How you feel is a result of how you think. Getting to the thoughts is gold because thoughts are amenable. You say you don't know your stuff: challenge that statement. Does anyone ever know all the stuff there is to know? Perhaps there is the assumption that you are hired for what you know, in part that is true, but people are also hired for how fast they can learn, whether they have a fixed or growth mindset and their ability to learn the ropes. In other words, no one is expecting you to know everything, a sign of intelligence and resiliency is knowing what you don't know and not only being okay with that but looking forward to asking for help or collaboration.

Thinking that the hiring team made a mistake is to actually underestimate their expertise in picking the right people. Companies have bottom lines and generally know how to hire, so trust that people see something in you that you can't yet see! In terms of bonding, everyone has a different style and though virtual working from home has set challenges, they are not insurmountable. Some people find cooking therapeutic. Your team could meet every Friday on Zoom and have a cooking demonstration in a team member's kitchen. You could ask a colleague for a virtual 30-minute coffee where the only rule is, no talking about work! In so doing, this mimics what one would do in real life.

Remember that people like to feel useful, so approaching someone and saying: ‘I know you have been in the company for X amount of years and I really respect your work, would you be able to help me get a lay of the land?’ Often we make it tougher for ourselves when we expect people to read our minds. It is perfectly okay to ask and as you do one-to-ones and icebreakers at meetings. I have a feeling you will feel more assimilated. Good luck!" - Dr Anjhula Mya Singh Bais, International Psychologist Trauma Specialist, Human Rights Activist

__

"Imposter syndrome is a bit of a tough one to deal with. I would say to remember that you are not alone in that feeling. I have felt that and I have gotten opportunities to hear from many other colleagues that have also felt that even after having been at our organisation for a while. It is especially easy to feel that way when you're first starting. You're not alone, everyone often feels like they don't have what it takes, but you said so yourself that the skills are similar, so you do have what it takes! It'll just take a bit of an adjustment period, which it always does for everyone, just like when you get back from a long vacation and you feel like you forget what you're doing. That's totally normal! This is actually a good time to take this opportunity that you're new-ish and ask as many questions as you can and try to get to know people.

Regarding the second issue, I would imagine it is really hard to break the ice when starting a new role remotely, but I would say to just set up some virtual coffee chats with colleagues. This can be time for you to just get to know each other. Look up some conversation prompts online that you can ask to keep the conversation going and just get to know them. Try to do this with as many people as you can. Keeping it informal and more in the lines of getting to know each other decreases the stakes a bit, you don't have to impress anyone or talk about work, but you can ask them about their role and any tips they might have if you'd like to! Hope this helps and best of luck!" **- Anonymous **

Want to submit more advice on this problem? Click here.

Have a problem of your own at work, and want the Apolitical community’s help? Submit your issue here.