Government is serious business. But reality has a funny way of injecting the absurd, chaotic and outright odd into the daily lives of public servants. Certainly when public servants have anything do with animals.
Let’s end the year with a smile. Let’s celebrate our favourite silly stories from the world of government this year. Enjoy!
Public servants vs. animals
Film directors are advised to never work with children or animals. Perhaps the same message might land well with people in government. Public servants like predictable variables, nature… er… finds a way to undermine that. Here’s how that plays out:
“Bees are fish” rules a court in California 🐝🐟
But an elephant cannot be a person, according to a court in New York. Glad that’s cleared up. Wake me up when we’ve finished re-arranging the Animal Kingdom’s org chart.
CNN & BBC
Mayor marries alligator for good luck 🐊
In accordance with ancient Mayan tradition, a mayor in Mexico joined in holy matrimony with an alligator. Looking forward to the honeymoon snaps.
Reuters
Mayor barred from local pub. Is also a small horse 🐴
Patrick, a beer-loving Shetland pony, who was elected Mayor of Cockington (UK) in a one-horse race, has been barred from a village pub. What a night-mare.
The Mirror
Fat Bear Week winner crowned after cheating scandal
The annual award celebrating weight gain in pre-hibernation bears in Katmai National Park was briefly rocked by voter fraud.
BBC News
Public servants vs. er… Cockatoos 🦜
Public servants in Australia are locked in a technological arms race with wild cockatoos. The wily parrots are thwarting attempts to keep them out of rubbish bins.
Popular Science
Why did the chicken walk in the Pentagon? 🐔
The hen was taken into custody after entering the building, and named “Henny Penny”.
AP News
Caws for applause — Swedish town trains crows to pick up litter 🐦
In other news: what do you call two crows flying together? — An attempted murder.
The Guardian
Public servants vs. space
When humans go into space, they bring their quibbles, irrationalities and silliness with them. If you’re looking for utopia in the stars, look the other way.
The European Space Agency received a petition to stop sending phallic-shaped rockets into orbit 🍆
The petition, created by the German group ‘Who needs feminism?’, has designed non-phallic alternatives to “restore gender equality to the cosmos”.
Dezeen
Scientist apologises for pretending that a slice of sausage was a star 🌞🔭
When a star hits your eye like a big pizza pie — that’s salami.
The Mirror
Congestion. Humanity’s first planetary export. There’s now so much debris in space that the US government is worried it’ll block the path of future missions to the moon. It reminds me of my all-time favourite meme.
The Hill
Public servants vs. each other
Bureaucrats are peculiar animals, but that’s why we love them. Let’s take a sideways glance at some of the peculiarities of government life. Featuring some curious job ads.
If you haven’t seen it already, here’s an adorable parody of the jargon you’re definitely tired of hearing.
Youtube
Drambusters no more 🥃 Denmark and Canada sign a neat deal to end the “whisky wars”
Since 1973, their relationship has been on the rocks due to soldiers from both countries planting flags and bottles of whisky on a disputed island. Now, in the context of global conflict, they’ve decided to reach a fair solution. Cheers to that.
Washington Post
A postal office in Antarctica is looking for a new postmaster and penguin counter 🐧📭
Tired of your commute, office and 9-5? This could be the ideal role for you.
UPI News
What would your department look like if it was imagined by an AI art generator? 🖼️
I’m sure you ask this question all the time. Wonder no more. People are addressing this important issue.
Sim Nimby: The town planning video game where you can never actually build anything 🏙️
Watch your bold designs for a thriving society wither in the face of refusals to allow any change.
Bloomberg
New York are looking for a Chief Rat Officer 🐀
The role’s listed requirements include a “background in urban planning” and a “virulent vehemence for vermin.” My cat has put in an application.
CNBC
How to settle a waterpark planning dispute? A mixed martial arts fight, of course 🥊
That was the view taken by two Brazilian politicians. Three rounds in the ring, however, did little to settle the waterpark headache.
Vice
The “old fashioned” method of settling trade disputes 🍹
After buying 20,400 bottles of Lithuanian rum, Taiwan’s National Development Council is sharing cocktail recipes with the general public.
The Guardian
To help manage dwindling supplies, military conscripts in Norway are being asked to return underwear at the end of their service. Cosy.
AP News
Policy where you least expect it
Moving with the times doesn’t have to mean that the times have to make any sense. Welcome to the future.
Facing a fertiliser shortage? Urine for a treat 🌾💧
Human urine is a rich source of nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium. As prices for agricultural chemicals are skyrocketing, farmers are reaching out to “peecyclers” to bottle and share their wee.
The Guardian
All the kids are going wild for “Urban planning Tik Tok” 🚌
Well, that’s not strictly true, but it’s pretty cool that there’s a corner of the Gen Z internet devoted to cycle lanes and public parks.
Bloomberg UK
Wind turbines could be recycled into gummy bears
Renewable energy just got sweeter. That said, I’m not convinced that Vestas V90 turbine will be a bestselling Haribo flavour.
The Guardian
Paper trail: How investigators uncovered corruption in train toilet roll supplies 🧻
The story of how one civil servant discovered that corrupt officials in the Kazakh Republic were using train toilet paper procurement to make some dirty money.
Open Contracting Partnership
Public servants vs. the world
An unconventional reality requires unconventional responses. I wonder how underwear sales are doing now.
Crimefighting that’ll make you step back and Marvel 🦸
Police in Lima, Peru are dressing up as superheroes to go on drug busts. It’s the recipe for a very confused costume party crossover.
BBC
Police play Barry Manilow’s greatest hits to repel protesters 📣
James Blunt offered his support, just in case hearing ‘Mandy’ on loop wasn’t enough to deter protesters in New Zealand.
BBC
Shall I compare thee to a GDP? 💖 = 💵
A new report finds a strong correlation between economic performance and the prevalence of romantic literature over the past 3,800 years. Your move, economists.
Nature
A different type of policy “brief” 🩲
Falling underwear sales are a crucial indicator of an incoming recession, says Alan Greenspan, former Head of the US Federal Reserve
CNN Business
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